It's Mother's Day and I thought I would begin the day by doing something "motherly"...is there anything (aside from joyful agony of labor and delivery) more motherly than baking? I think not.
I found the perfect Banana Bread recipe in my newly acquired copy of A Homemade Life. I had lusciously ripened bananas. I pre-heated the oven to the required 350 degrees. I was out of milk. I had no "whole milk yogurt" either. My enthusiasm deflated as quickly as a souffle in earthquake conditions.
Now what? Do I go to the grocery store (a despised task under the best of conditions..."best of conditions" meaning that it is in the same shopping center as Krispy Kreme Donuts") just to buy the necessary ingredient....or do I knit or quilt instead? (or maybe beat up a few low-lifes in Mob Wars?)
I really wanted to take some bread as gifts for my daughter and mother-in-law whom I was meeting for brunch in a couple of hours. The decision must be made quickly. I look at the bananas again. I notice the way that dappled light from the early morning sunshine falls across the table. I head upstairs, not for the shower, but for the camera instead. The eyes have it. The visual wins out over the olfactory, the semi-artistic over the palatable. For now anyway.
I love baking. But in reality, I think I love the concept of baking even more. I love domesticity but this statement seems a farce as I pay a true professional wonderwoman every two weeks to clean my house for me. It takes her three and hours and it would take me....well, let me honest here...I have never, ever done the amount of cleaning that she does in one fell swoop so I have NO idea how long it would take me to clean my entire house (refrigerator shelves and windows included) However, this money is very well as spent as it allows me to the time to pursue other domestic endeavors: sewing, knitting, quilting and, at times, cooking and baking.
I utterly fail at times being "motherly." However, I love being a mother...and not just as a concept. I may groan at the mundane tasks it sometimes brings but the rewards far outweigh the inconvenience. It is somehow comforting to know that even when they are grown, that your children still need you. Being a mother is not simply a job that never ends but an ongoing state of being (similar to insanity but motherhood does not respond as readily to shock treatment). I am still learning to mother and at times I wish I could do things very differently, go back and reapply the things I've learned along the way. I suppose that is why we have grandchildren...they afford us the opportunity to mother again, part-time.
My opportunity to bake bread this morning has passed in the writing of this post. The bananas will still be waiting this afternoon. Although I won't have any bread to take to my daughter and mother-in-law, I can still do the most valued "motherly" act that I learned from my own mother. I will pray for my children and my family.
Happy Mother's Day.
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